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November 23, 2007

Giving Thanks

As snow falls lightly on this morning after Thanksgiving, I find myself enjoying the serenity of the day.

By this time most years, Benny and I would have been in the middle of the frenetic excitement of "Black Friday". Positions change. Though I do still have young children, I'm not the "Mommy" any more. I'm the mom and Grandma. Kaity and Khi have finished with toys. Justin and Sarah are out among the crowds choosing just the right toys for their little beauty, while Papaw and I share coffee and watch her sleep.

November is a fun filled month at our house. On the 7th, Jonathan turned 22. He has grown into the most humble and gracious man any mother could ever hope for in her son. As you can see, Chloe thinks Jono is the best!

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Khi celebrated his 10th birthday on the 8th. Like his older siblings, he is developing a heart of service and love toward others. On ALL Saints Day Benny, my mother, and I planned to go to the cemetery to clean up around our family graves. Khi dearly loves my uncle who lives in Cincinnati. He asked to come along to help with "Uncle's Wife's" (my aunt Janet) marker. Using a knitting needle, he dug out dried mud from all the engraved letters.

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Kaity had her 12th birthday on the 13th. She's in that special time between girlhood and womanhood. She's doing a really good job recognizing when her hormones are surging and asking for some protein and calcium, keeping the outbursts her mother was known for to a minimum. Kaity's an "All Creatures Great and Small" kind of girl. Her television is usually set on Animal Planet. She treats the pets at our house as though they are small people in her charge.

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I'm off to spin and watch some Dora with Chloe. If you're on Ravelry stop by and say hi. I'm Spinningdoula over there too.


Posted by Angi at 08:38 AM | Comments (2)

November 07, 2007

The Trickle of Humanity (as told by Sarah)

Well, we officially live in Deliverance. At one point, it was somewhere between there and Feed the Children, but now there's no question about it: this place is fucking insane.
Yesterday was election day so Angi, Jonathan, and I signed up to work the polls. Little did we know, that on our quest to make the $85 we would be paid, that we would have to battle a snarky Quilt Bitch, pee with a man, hit the invisible wall of smell, deal with a Phone Nazi, and meet a woman who was named after a yeast infection...and that was just with the trickle of Scioto County humanity that we encountered.
Unfortunately, Jonathan wasn't at the same building with Angi and I. He worked on the other end of town. When we dropped him off, Angi introduced him to everyone, only to have a grouchy old woman yell "Shut the door! It's cold!" We prayed for Jonathan as we drove away.
When Angi and I got to our building, we met quite possibly the coolest woman alive: our presiding judge Judie.
Judie rescued a dog. It was winter, and freezing cold outside, and this scrawny little dog was laying by a pole in an alley. The dog looked pretty expensive, so she just knew it belonged to a crack house. The lady who owned it was passed out inside, so Judie put the dog in her car. She couldn't decide whether to name it Alley or Crack House.
Judie also proudly proclaims that she sleeps with politicians. "I slept with Todd Book last night, and Ted Strickland the night before!" Once she explained that she just slept in their campaign t-shirts, we wipes the surprised looks off our faces and couldn't stop laughing.
While we were setting up for the polls, there were signs that we had to hang. One sign said to ignore an issue, that the votes wouldn't be counted. The guy at our table said that it was a shame that they should ignore it, that it was quite an entertaining issue. So, of course, I had to go read it. Apparently, Ohio has quite a few laws about strip clubs, and this was about one of them. It said that you could only touch a stripper if you were immediately family. And you could get in trouble for touching a stripper, especially for touching certain special anatomical areas. That's so unfair. I mean, aren't lap dances a main source of income!?
Anyway...There were other precincts in our building. The table in front of us was led by this woman we shall call Quilt Bitch. Quilt Bitch was probably an angry repressed lesbian. She had an aura of bull-dike-yness. And she was a bitch who was constantly quilting; hence her name. We didn't get along very well.
Our building was the electrical union hall, so of course our electricity went out. And, of course, our machine was the only one without battery back-up. I had just gone through training, and they had told us what to do in this situation, so we had it all under control. But then Quilt Bitch comes over and starts being snarky and condecsending and yelling at Judie that we were doing things wrong. So I offered to call the Board of Elections to settle things. They agreed with us, so when I got back to the room I very loudly told my table that we were doing things JUST RIGHT and that we should KEEP DOING WHAT WE WERE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE. Then we began to discuss, also quite loudly, how HORRIBLE Quilt Bitch was being. Angi was extremely helpful in voicing her opinion that we should REPORT QUILT BITCH'S RUDENESS to the Board of Elections in a volume that would carry all the way up to their table.
Finally Quilt Bitch had had enough. She scooted her chair back with enough force to make it echo around the room and yelled "Ma'am!" We all started grinning because we knew this was going to be good. "Excuse me ma'am, I was not being mean!"
Angi: "Yes you were!"
QB: "No, I was just trying to help! I have helped her before and I was not being mean! And by the way, go ahead and report me to the Board of Elections. I work there."
Angi: "Well, if you work for them then I don't need to report you, they already know how mean you are."
Quilt Bitch was utterly vanquished. She stomped back up to her table...and we laughed. Hard.
After the cat fight, we settled down and began quietly talking about QB's table. Not many people were coming in to vote, so Angi and I got our spindles out. Judie was pretty interested, and was looking at some of Angi's wool. She decided that it would make a very nice toupe so she placed some on top of her head and asked us if it hid her thinning spot. It did, but it was black shetland on grey-blonde hair, so we decided that maybe it would be better in another color. However, the wool did match the hair of the quiet balding man who was at our table, so Judie kept trying to stick it on him.
The few people that did come out to vote were quite interesting. One guy smelled like bacon. One lady's name was the doctor word for a yeast infection. And then there was this guy, who luckily was voting at QB's table. When I walked past him coming back from the potty, I hit the invisible wall. Have you ever hit the invisible wall of smell? You're just going along, minding your own business, and WHAM!, nasal assault? Well, that's what happened. When I saw him walking out of the building, there was something on the back of his pants. I couldn't tell which bodily function it was...but poor guy. He was really old.
While on the subject of bodily functions, I drank a lot of coffee so I had to pee a lot. So I went to the bathroom, which appeared to usually be a men's room. It had a stall and two urinals on the floor. There was a sign on the door that said "For your privacy, please lock both doors." I locked the big door and the stall door. Private, right? I was sitting doing my business, and I heard a noise. I looked through the gap at the bottom of the stall and I saw a pair of man shoes shoes standing at the urinal. I had no desire to see a strange penis, so I stayed in the stall until that pair of man shoes walked out the back door, which I had failed to notice.
And, with 10 women in the building, it didn't take too long to run out of toilet paper. The union guys seemed kinda surprised when we asked for more. So, they gave us two more rolls. We're not talking about the nice large rolls of good tp, I mean two tiny rolls of the cheap scratchy shit. On one of my many potty trips, I saw that one of the rolls had fallen and rolled into the urinal. Luckily, there was just enough squares on the other to do. So, the next potty trip, I went prepared. I saw that someone had fished the tp out of the urinal. There was no way I was going to use pre-pissed-on toilet paper, so I used my McDonald's napkin.
As the day progressed, things were pretty calm, until the incident with the Phone Nazi. Remember the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld? "No soup for you!" Anyway, this woman was like that with her cell phone. Judie needed to call her son for a ride, so Phone Nazi dialed the number herself and then held the phone up to Judie's ear to make sure that she didn't talk to long. Damn.
All in all, it was quite an entertaining day.

Posted by Sarah at 10:40 AM | Comments (1)

November 03, 2007

another way

In response to our country's ever increasing dependence on foreign oil,
the vehicle of choice of the next generation of virtual fighters is indeed

THE BARBIE CAR
NewCar.jpg
The full size engineers have a few kinks to work out.
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BringIt.jpg
BRING IT
Bin Laden

Posted by Angi at 10:50 PM