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January 23, 2006

Purgatory of the Adopted

I wonder if there was a pamphlet during the late 50's and early 60's for couples unable to conceive, convincing them of the Wonderful World of Adoption?

Things are so much better now. But back then, in my imagination the pamphlet would have read:

"GO Ahead! You know you want to! Go buy that beautiful little blue eyed blond haired baby. Pretend you gave birth to her. Pretend she didn't have a name before the one you gave her or parents before you. As she grows, remind her and everyone around you, how wonderful you are. After all, you took her out of the goodness of your heart, and saved her from certain peril. The pay off will be when you're 74. She will be obliged to you for all you've done. She will sit in all of the hospital waiting rooms and emergency rooms you care to drag her to, wrestling with ambivalence.

I write this only partially tongue in cheek. This week finds me accompanying my mother to various doctor's offices. Wednesday there will be yet another stress test and maybe on to a larger medical facility 2 hours away, for another heart surgery.

I used to have the Curlypurl mindset of "Head Up, Shoulders Back, Tits to the Wind". Lately though, this person who "played Mommy" all those years has been trying to be kind. She's softening and looking rather frail. Therein lies the Ambivalent Purgatory of the Adopted. All the old feelings get stirred up with budding new ones. And just in time for what?

So I'll spend this week knitting away on Cheesy Puffs, drinking really bad coffee and trying to sort through it all.

Posted by Angi at January 23, 2006 12:18 PM


How's the sweater coming along - any problems with the pattern? I've been thinking about making it too. Does Benny think it's funny that he's getting a sweater called Cheesy Puffs?

Posted by: Charleen at January 23, 2006 05:13 PM

Your post made me really sad for some reason...

I actually came here with an invite, though -

I'd love it if you'd join my Olympic Team - Team DPN!!

Check out the blog and join if you want!!!

Sorry being adopted was sad for you......

Posted by: Whit at February 1, 2006 04:51 PM

Didn't take the html.

The blog is

Hope to see you there!

Posted by: Whit at February 1, 2006 04:52 PM